I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
