Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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