They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
