the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
