we're blogging at a bar
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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