Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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