I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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