Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
