is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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