i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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