she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
