does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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