I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
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