No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
