clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
