Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
