I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
