mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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