i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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