none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
