You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
