If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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