Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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