he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
