I feel great
I just peed on a car
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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