Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
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