they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The air was thick with penises
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
