I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
