Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
