we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
