I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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