bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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