do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Me too!
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize