I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
