i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize