That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
