I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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