You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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