you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
