He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
