better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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