final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
