I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize