..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
