Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
You're completely useless in the revolution.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
