i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
