i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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