My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Randomize
