Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize