Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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