My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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