I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
