I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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