ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize