The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
