i just had sex bonerless
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
