As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
