Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
What drink are we having for lunch?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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