Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
