Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
