This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
