lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
