Already got asked if we're dating
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize