i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
