haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
