He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
