ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
